*rorriM*

?rorrim a si tahW
?od ti seod tahW
,noitcelfer ruo su whos yeht...srorriM
,ees ot tnaw ew gnihtyreve fo seipoc
,si ti sa gnihtyreve su whos ot mees yeht
.era yllaer ew ekil sevlesrou whos ot mees yeht
,dnuora denrut si su swohs rorrim a gnihtyreve taht si ezilaer t'nod ew tahw tuB
,dnuora yaw rehto eht sraeppa gnihtyreve
.keaf si ees ew gnihtyreve
,ees ot tnaw ew tahw ees eW
,edistuo s'tahw ees ew
,revoc eht
,sgniht esoht dnoyeb ees t'nod ew tub
,edisni s'tahw
.rettam yllaer taht sgniht eht
.wollahs oS
,segami eht yb deloof era eW
,snoitcelfer eht
,tcefrep eb ot mees yeht
!ton tsuj re'yeht tub
,degnahc si gnihtyrevE
,era yeht sa raeppa t'nod sgniht
.skool ti sa si gnihton esuaceb
,erac t'nod ew tuB
.dnuora yaw eht lla si gnihtyreve ezilaer neve t'nod ew
.tcefrep si gnihtyreve fi sa tca eW
,su yarteb srorriM
.su ecnivnoc ot
,dlrow a fo edistuo eht su wohs yehT
.edisni eht no tnereffid yllaer s'taht

It seems like finally I can rest my head on something real. I like the way that feels.

The calling

Someone once asked me if I believed in magic.
Well, of course I do, it would be stupid not to believe in yourself, wouldn't it? Not surprisingly I was called a freak.
I know there are lots of people that don't believe in magic. They're stuck in what they call "reality", they judge what's different, they're sacared by things they're not used to see.
That's why we, magical creatures, stay away. We only come out at night, when we're free to be ourselves, when we can be ourselves and not be judged.
Maybe we weren't meant to be in this world. Iknow there's a world apart, for us. A world in which fairies have control, in which dragons are not slaves, wiches aren't tortured, a world in which elves dance and sing around the fire, in which no one runs away from werewolves, in which vapires fly freely in the sky. A world in which stars are what matter the most. A world in which, what in this world are called "regular people" are the villains, the weird ones, the different ones, the feared ones.
That is why we, magical creatures, must stay toguether, to fight against this so called "regular world", to be free to go home again.
This is a calling for all of those who have been called freaks, who have been judged, who have felt weird. This is a calling for dragons, werewolves, vampires, elves, fairies and witches. This is a calling for my family, the magical creatures...

The ultimate death survey

What do you think happens after you die?
Peace takes over.
Do you believe in heaven?
Nope
Do you believe in hell?
Maybe
Do you think you will be judged after you die?
After I die? I've beed judged throughout my life!...sure i will, I know i will.
How many people would attend your funeral?
Interested-on-me-people-town population....0
Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral?
Cry...I guess
What's better? A shot in the head or downing pills?
PILLS!
What should be written on your tombstone?
P.A.L. (Peace At Last!)
Would you rather die childless or divorced?
Don't care
Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Night
If you had a million dollars to leave, who would you leave it to?
I'd take them to the grave if you know what I mean
What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?
Black roses
On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember?
The moment i sat and answered this stupid survey
Have you ever watched someone die?
Yes
What's the most gruesome death you can imagine?
Getting suffocated with a pillow
How often do you think about death?
Every 2 or 3 days
Is fear of dying your number one fear?
Not at all
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Yes
Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead?
... Are you spying on me?
Do you consider life short or long?
Not too short, not too long, enough.
Do you think you have a soul?
I guess
Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is:
Murder!
If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes?
Thrown into the sea of the most desserted beach
Would you choose to be immortal, if you could be?
Nope
If you could pick a season to die, which would it be?
Fall

The Eye Of The Beholder...

·-·Fantasy·-·

The autumn breeze blew carrying the smell of the dry leaves. The black butterfly came along, fluttering its wings rapidly, impatiently, as if it longed to get to some place, some kind of paradise, a sacred place. As she flied along with the wind , dry leaves followed her and raindrops started falling slowly. But the butterfly kept flying, nothing could stop her, nothing was stronger than the longing; not even the freezing wind, not even the soaking rain. Then, after a long flight, there it was, PARADISE! So peaceful, silent, so enchanting. The grass so green, the water so transparent, so clear, the trees so tall, the smell so fresh, so good. The wind wasn't cold anymore, the rain had stopped falling long ago. The black butterfly stopped flying, she stood on a big gray rock, next to the flowing river. Her wings stopped fluttering, they stoped moving...slowly. She stood still. She looked so peaceful, so...frozen. Then...she wasn't black anymore, but gray...and then...white. She looked paralyzed...but yet...so peaceful. Her wings started shaking again, but not to fly. They started cracking slowly, and finally...broke. There was nothing left, but dust. The rain started falling again, hard. The sky turned black and the wind blew hard, taking the dust with it. Then the dry leaves followed...someplace they'd never be seen again.

I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right, I swear I'm right.

I got it all but I feel so deprived. I go up, I come down, and im emptier inside. Tell em where is this thing that I feel like I'm missing and why can't I let it go. Theres gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me; 'cause the more that I'm tripping down thinking there must be more to life, well it's life...but I'm sure there's gotta be more than wanting more. Im searching for something that's missing!! There's gotta be more, I'm wanting more, I'm feeling like there's something I miss.
I just wanna get it overwith. Tears from behind my eyes; but I do not cry. Feels like I'm starting all over again, the last * months were just pretend. It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
And you know it breaks my heart to see you standing in the dark waiting there for me to come back. I'm too afraid to show. I don't wanna be stranded.
Nothing's fine I'm torn. I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on teh floor. Ilusion never changfed into something real. I'm wide awake and I cant see the perfect sky is torn. You're a little late, I'm already torn. I dont care. I have no luck. I dont miss it all that much.
I wish I could know the directions that I take. Show me what is for, make me understand it. I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer. Is there something more than what I've been handed? Is it ok to use my heart and not my eyes to navigate the darkness? Will the ending be ever coming suddenly? Will I ever get to see the ending to my story? How much further do I have to go? How much longer untill I finally know? 'cause I'm looking and I just can't see what's infront of me.
Save my life won't you help me? Save my life can you hear me?
My feelings I hide. My dreams I can't find. I'm loosing my mind. I'm falling behind. I can't find my place. I'm loosing my faith. I'm all over the place. I'm lost inside.
I am young and I am free. But I get tired and I get weak. How does it feel to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel?
What a mess, what a marble. Im sad, sad, sad, small, alone, scared. This is all that I can do. I'm done to be me. Sad, scared, small, alone, beautiful. It's supposed to be like this, I accept everything, it's supposed to be like this. It's okay, I'm small, I'm divine, I'ts beautiful and it's coming and i'ts already here and i'ts absolutely perfect!
Restless tonight 'cause I wasted the light. It's nothing I planned, and not that I can. If I traded it all, if I gave it all away for one thing, just for one thing would'nt that be something. Even though I know, I don't wanna know, well I guess I know, I just hate how it sounds.
Why do they always do this to me? Why couldn't you just see through me? It's not supposed to feel this way. It's not supposed to hurt this way. Are you and me still toguether? Tell me D'you think we can alst forever? Tell me. Why? Let's play a different game than what we're playing. Do you expect me to believe I was the only one who'd fall? Go and think about whatever you need to think about. Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about, and come back to em when you know just how you feel.
Goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
...And when the stars fall I will lie awake. You are my shooting star...


:'(

/^^\

"You get across an you're gonna find a place--another Alhambra. You got to go in that place. It's a scary place, a bad place. But you got to go in."
"Why do I have to go there if it's so bad?"
"Because" Speedy said, "that's where the talisman is."
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"You will," Speedy said. He took Jack's hand. The two of them stood face-to-face, old black man and young white boy.
"The talisman be given unto your hand, Travellin Jack. Not too big, not too small, she look just like a crystal ball, Travellin Jack, ole Travelin Jack. Here's your burden, here's your cross: Drop her jack, and all be lost..."
Speedy laughed and keyed the ignition. He backed up, turned around, and then the truck was rattling back toward Arcadia Funworld.
Jack stood by the curb, watching it go.
He had never felt so alone in his life...

"The talisman"-Stephen King/Peter Straub